


It will be fine, I'm here with you

by strawberry_cider



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Flirting, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Possession, Season 3 Finale, Sharing a Body, Short One Shot, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:13:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22680766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberry_cider/pseuds/strawberry_cider
Summary: Jon burns Gerry's page, but he doesn't go away.
Relationships: Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 14
Kudos: 159





	It will be fine, I'm here with you

Jon held the page above the lighter. As the flames engulfed it, pain shot through all of his body, piercing his skin and bones. It felt as though his skull and eyes were on fire too. Air refused to go inside his lungs and he choked as he tried to voice out his displeasure. As the page burnt and the fire reached the fingers holding the last remaining corner, he gasped for air and clutched his chest. His heart throbbed and beat with difficulty, struggling to push blood through for a moment. He put the lighter away and held his head between his hands, trying to bring his breathing back to normal.

_What is going on?_

Jon's eyes flew open.

“...Gerry?” He asked, looking around the office, but not seeing him anywhere.

 _Jon_ , Gerry's voice rang again. _Jon, what is happening?!_

“Where are you?” Jon asked, getting up.

 _I'm here!_ he said.

Jon's arm suddenly whipped around, in a wide gesture of presentation. His eyes opened wide in horror.

“Gerry...”

_Oh God, what the hell..._

“Gerry, do that again...”

Jon's arm moved again, without him doing anything.

_Oh..._

“Oh no...”

_Welp... I did not see this coming..._ Gerry said, from inside Jon's mind. It sounded like his own thoughts, just in Gerry's voice.

Jon was sitting at his desk chair, elbows on his knees and head in his palms. It did not take a genius to realise that Gerry's ghost transferred from his skin page to Jon's body. Jon wanted to scream, but it might alert the others. God, this is the worst. The worst time possible too, oh good God. They were going to try to stop the Unknowing in a couple of days and now Jon is _possessed_!

 _Hey, Jon,_ Gerry thought.

What?? Jon thought back.

_What the hell are we going to do now?_

I don't know!

_Is this one... permanent?_

Oh God, I hope not. I-I mean, no offence, but-

 _No! No! I get it! I wanna be dead already! I thought burning the page would work too. I don't know why I remained here, or why I possessed you or..._ Gerry sighed, exasperated.

It's okay, Gerry, Jon thought. I don't blame you for it. It's just...

The two of them stood in silence for a while. Jon let go of his head and looked at his hands. Gerry moved his burnt hand's fingers, flexing them one by one, slowly clenching and unclenching his fist. It was such a weird, alien feeling. He could feel it move, clearly see it move, but it was not him causing it. It was like watching somebody else's hand. Jon idly thought about how getting used to this in the next two days would be helpful during the Unknowing when allegedly everything would feel wrong.

 _This isn't so bad, then,_ Gerry thought.

Oh, uh, yes! Jon thought, remembering that Gerry can hear his thoughts now. Oh... You'll hear all my thoughts now...

_Apparently. And you'll be hearing mine too, I suppose._

Oh, uh... Oh boy... Well, this will interesting until we figure something out. They say you get used to everything eventually...

 _And as long as you don't think of anything weird or raunchy, you'll have nothing to worry about!_ Gerry thought and laughed. Jon blushed and did so even harder thinking Gerry must be feeling it too.

Can you...? he thought.

_Yup!_

Oh my God... What is even my life?

_I'm not gonna lie, Jon, it's a mess._

Thanks. Never noticed.

_Don't be like that! I know it's bad, but we'll figure out. At least I won't be stuck in a piece of paper anymore! You can show me places!_

Well, enjoy it while it lasts, Gerry. Depending on what happens at the Unknowing, you might get your wish and be dead. I'll be joining you.

_Considering my luck, I might hop to someone else's body. Maybe a mannequin's. I know I'm not one to talk, but do try to stay positive. Gertrude's technique with C4 never failed yet._

Knowing my luck, we might be the exception...

Gerry kept moving his hand, making waves with his fingers. They watched together the tendons on the back of his hand becoming more and less defined.

How, um, how does it feel for you? Jon asked.

 _It's so weird_ , Gerry thought. _It looks nothing like my hand, but I can move it, I can feel everything. It feels like ones of those hyper-realistic dreams._

Yeah, it feels like that t-

Jon's thoughts were cut off by Gerry suddenly placing the hand on Jon's cheek, nearly slapping him and rattling his glasses. Jon felt his own fingers spread and press into his cheek, cradling it. He was so aware of his own skin, his own warmth, he felt himself blush again.

Um, what are you doing? he asked.

 _Oh!_ Gerry said. _Jon, go to a mirror! I wonder if you changed physically too!_

Oh, um okay, Jon thought and got up to walk to the bathroom. Um, Gerry, your hand is still on my face. Well, uh, I mean, my hand is...

 _Oh, uh, sorry_ , Gerry said and let Jon's hand drop.

Jon entered the bathroom and stepped in front of the mirror. He looked like himself. He half-expected to see Gerry's reflection juxtaposed over his own, or his eyes to look like Gerry's, or something artistic like that. Gerry brought both of Jon's hands to his face.

 _It feels so much like a dream_ , He thought. He felt around the shape of his face, his cheekbones and jawline. Jon wondered what it was like to wake up in a different body, a different face. He couldn't decide which was stranger - if feeling your limbs controlled by something else or if being the one controlling something other than yourself. Gerry traced the tendons on his neck and his collarbone. Jon felt acutely aware of the ghosts left behind by his own fingers, the paths they took. Gerry's hands went back up his neck, fingers spreading across his cheeks. His little fingers touched his lips and one of them traced them gently, pushing his lower lip down.

Gerry? Jon thought.

Jon's hands froze.

 _Sorry_ , Gerry thought, trying to laugh it off. _It's just, uh, so weird, you know? It's been so long since I've had a body and it's so bizarre to suddenly have one again, aha. To feel skin again. I-I mean, not to sound creepy but you get it, right?_

Jon couldn't help smiling. Yeah, he thought, I get it.

 _I won't do it anymore if it's creepy_ , Gerry thought. _I'll just sit back and watch._

N-No! I don't mind! It's not creepy if it's you.

Jon realised what he said and blushed hard. Gerry laughed nervously and quickly moved the hands away.

We, uh, we should leave before somebody sees us doing... whatever we are doing, Jon thought.

 _Y-Yeah! Let's go_ , Gerry thought. _Hey, can I walk you there?_

Uh, sure!

Gerry walked Jon back to his office, then walked around his office, from one wall to another. He could do it, but slowly and self-conscious.

_Jesus Christ, walking shouldn't be so complicated. We learn it once when we are little and then do it forever, right?_

Jon didn't say anything and tried to focus on something other than how surreal it felt to be moving without him doing it. It felt like Gerry said, like those dreams where you do mundane everyday things, it feels like you've woken up and went about your life, but then you aactually wake up and you're bewildered.

 _Everything okay, Jon?_ Gerry thought. _You're really quiet._

Yes, it's all right, Jon replied. Just... getting used to it.

_Being dead isn't so bad if you have a body. I already know how to deal with being dead inside!_

Jon laughed as Gerry walked him back to the chair. Gerry moved one of his hands up in front of him and rotated it around.

 _You should cut your nails_ , Gerry thought.

Jon laughed before he could stop himself. Thanks, Jon thought. You're a doll.

 _Don't jinx it_ , Gerry laughed back. _But seriously, your nails look like a mess._

I know. I'll fix them later.

_Are they even comfortable? Can you do anything with them?_

Before Jon could answer, he glided the nails across the other hand. Jon felt goosebumps and so did Gerry, but Jon didn't stop it, watching Gerry's slowly move his hands apart, also taking in the feeling of it.

 _Your skin feels different from mine_ , Gerry thought. _It's more sensitive._

Yeah, he thought. I-I mean, you're right, the, uh, the nails are too long.

_When you're done with the Unknowing, I'm cutting and painting them for you._

Let me guess – black?

_You know me so well!_

Will you do my makeup too?

_If you want to!_

Please don't dye my hair, though.

_Hey, why not? Do you not trust my expertise? I could cover your white hairs. Black would suit you, in my opinion._

All right then, I'll give you a chance.

_Can I also get you tattoos?_

Oh God no!

Both of them laughed. Jon felt Gerry's smile on his own lips.

_Hey._

Yes?

_How will you go to the bathroom?_

...Damn it.

The four of them (secretly five) were in the car. Jon spent the ride looking out the window. Gerry held his hands in one another, intertwining their fingers. He could feel him rubbing a thumb over the other one as they talked among themselves. They were avoiding the topic of the Unknowing, willing themselves to remain calm and even in a good mood. Otherwise, the car was very silent, the tension among themselves very palpable. Some talking was attempted, but it died out quickly from a vague answer and an angry snap. Jon and Gerry stopped too after a while.

Jon turned off his brain, as he did on long car rides, and let Gerry take the wheel. He was making him look out the window, at his own reflection in the window, at his own eyes. Jon refocused and listened for Gerry's thoughts, but he wasn't thinking of anything in particular. He was looking at Jon's eyes, analysing the colour and the specks inside the iris. Jon felt himself blush, which meant Gerry felt it too. He felt him squeeze his hand, slow and deliberately, the tips of the fingers pushing down on the knuckles of the other. Jon tried to push back, but Gerry kept him in place. Jon tried to take hold of both hands and silently fought with Gerry the rest of the trip.

Once they arrived, each went to their own room. Jon understood and lied down on the bed, sinking in the mattress. It will be fine. They will be fine. They can do this. They will stop the Unknowing and everything will be better among each-other.

 _That's the spirit_ , Gerry thought, making Jon smile.

Jon looked out the window and saw the sky was orange, the sun slowly going down and bathing everything in orange and yellow, the standard hotel room gradually going dark.

 _I wonder how many other people slept in this bed_ , Gerry thought.

I was trying not to think about it, Jon thought. Thank you, Gerry.

_You're welcome!_

I should go to bed early. Get ready. And everything.

_Yeah..._

Jon changed in a t-shirt and pyjama pants and crawled back under the covers. They felt nice and cold against his skin and he sighed, cuddling against the pillow. They wished one another goodnight, but continued to chat about nothing until Jon dozed off. The room got dark and the sky was inky-blue, but Jon still wasn't asleep. Jon felt his hand reach for the other one under the pillow.

 _Can't sleep?_ Gerry asked.

No...

_I don't blame you..._

Jon groaned and rolled on his back, staring at the ceiling-fan slowly rolling away. A hand absent-mindedly pulled at the collar of his shirt and scratched his chest. Another reached to Jon's face and wiped the hair off his forehead.

 _Your heart is beating so fast_ , Gerry thought.

I'm aware, Jon replied. I'm scared.

_I wasn't expecting you not to be. In a way, it's a good thing._

Should have I told them about you?

_Maybe. You might have gotten an earful, though._

What if I won't get to do it anymore...?

_It will be fine. The Eye won't let you die so easily._

I hope so, Jon thought, looking at the hand resting on his chest. His other hand was moved down to the base of his neck, fingers tentatively spreading over it. Jon followed the motion, curiosity peaked, any other thoughts swept aside.

 _You need to relax, Jon_ , Gerry thought.

How do you suggest I do it? Jon asked, playing along.

_I might have an idea..._

I'd love to hear it...

The hand on Jon's chest pulled the collar of the short along with it, tracing his sternum. The other hand caressed his collarbone, feeling it jut out, then lightly wrap around his neck. Jon let out a shaky breath as he watched his own hand move from his chest over his stomach, to the inside of his thigh. He bit his lip as Gerry fondled him through his pants, closing his eyes and letting his head back. His legs closed, only trapping his own hand flush against his crotch, and Gerry willed them back open.

 _Do you want me to stop?_ Gerry asked.

No, Jon replied. Don't you dare.

Gerry moved the hand inside Jon's pants and underwear. He teased him stroking the inside of his legs, purposefully avoiding his cock. Jon snatched the hand from his neck to his muffle himself. He heard Gerry chuckle at him, but he himself was breathing hard. Jon's face burnt hard as his clothes got tugged lower, exposing and freeing him. Gerry finally touched him and ran his fingers along the length.

Jon was breathing heavily thorough his nose and he cracked his eyes open, watching a middle finger rub small circles over the head. Gerry was cursing in the back of his mind and making him shiver. Jon was so freaking sensitive, it never felt like this before when he jerked off. It's been so long for both since they did something so lewd. Jon moved the hand from covering his mouth and put his fingers in, against his tongue.

“Fuck...” Gerry said out loud with his voice, and Jon smiled.

He wished Gerry was there physically, so he could touch him back. He conveyed that as he sucked and licked his fingers, not taking his eyes off his other hand pumping him. Gerry was panting and groaning, trying to hold back. His control on Jon's hand was slipping and Jon took over, moving the way he knew he liked it. Gerry didn't see it coming and moaned so loud Jon had to cover his mouth again.

Gerry, Jon thought, Gerry, be careful, they'll hear us...

_I don't care, I want to cum, make us cum already...!_

Jon moaned into his mouth and jerked himself off, but his grip was shaky and erratic. Fuck, they were so close. Gerry's thoughts were reeling, it was contagious. When he came he saw white stars and shook from every bone. He had to dig his nails into his cheeks to smother his voice. They lied together and exhausted for a minute or two, the room now filled with Jon trying to catch his breath. His face and his crotch felt wet. As he regained focus, Gerry lifted his hand made him kiss the back of it.

_Feeling better?_

Oh, uh, yeah...

“The show... has begun!” was the last thing they heard properly. The world went terribly wrong.

Gerry, what is happening?

_I don't know. Where is everyone?_

They were right here!

_Where did they go?_

Who?

_Everyone else!_

Oh, right!

Who are you?

_I'm Gerry!_

Gerry! Gerry, who am I?

_Who are you?_

_Um..._

Oh, God, this is so bad!

_Find somebody!_

Who? I don't know anyone!

_Anybody's fine!_

Are you fine?

_I don't know, who am I?_

I don't know either. _Go away!_

 _You go away!_ Stop following me!

Who are you talking to?

_To you!_

Who are you?

 _I don't know!_ Am I you?

You _can't be_ me! _I'm_ me!

W _hy_ _ca_ n _I_ hear yo _u_ _in_ my head? _Y_ o _u_ are _not me._

 _You're not_ m _e_ _e_ it _he_ r. I c _an't_ _te_ l _l_ if _I_ 'm me.

I _'l_ l c _a_ l _l f_ or he _lp._

 _O_ k _ay,_ do th _at._

“Hello? I- Anyone? What- What's going on? What is this place? Where... Help? Please? Anybody?”

“I'm somebody!”

S _om_ eb _o_ dy!

 _S_ om _eb_ o _dy_!

The Archivist does not know where he is or what is happening to him. He cycles through nightmares he knows too well. He walks among fire, through viscera, through shadows, among bullets, over insects, between gravestones, through cobwebs, through empty rooms, over dirt, through clouds, across hallways, among dolls and through woods, beneath a staring, glaring eye that is his own. As far as it can see there is fear and horror. He can not wake up. He thinks with dread he may never be able to wake up.

By his side is a ghost. He follows him through all the nightmares, observing together with him. He recognises them all, having studied them long before the Archivist did. He is a beacon of hope and despair at the same time. He keeps the Archivist company, the Archivist knows he has at least one ally. At least one soul does not regard him with fright or hatred or lust for blood. But the Archivist is the one who got him where he was. He is cursed to follow him, he does not have a choice in that matter. He feels everything the Archivist feels, the tears rolling down his eyes, the burning in his chest as he runs away, the fatigue and apathy and anxiety and sorrow. He can not rest unless the Archivist dies. He does not want the Archivist to die. The Archivist does not want to die either. He can't just die after everything. He sees death constantly and still fears it. He can't get used to fear. He can't become fear. He can't do this to others.

The Archivist cries and cries and the ghost wipes his tears away.

“...Make your choice, Jon.”

His heart throbbed and beat with difficulty, struggling to push blood through again. Jon gasped and his lungs ached as they filled with air again. His eyes were glued shut and he felt as though he was hit by a truck. He didn't know where he was and his mind scrambled to figure out who he was and what was happening. Even thinking hurt a little, it was so hard to focus.

 _Jon?_ he heard a voice among his own thoughts.

...Gerry? he thought back.

_Jon! You're alive!_

I'm alive...!

_You're back!_

Wha... What happened?

_I-I don't know, there was an explosion and we were in this ridiculously long dream._

Where are we?

_I don't know. In a hospital, I think._

Oh...

_It'll be fine, Jon. This is good! You're alive! You stopped the Unknowing!_

Yay...!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading! <3


End file.
